别空空地去爱

他们非常需要你的时间！他们是谁？是你的家人，你最爱的人。我们太忙于创造事业和追求权位，反而忘了最爱的人。
我记得当妻子告诉我她怀孕、想生下孩子时，我说：“你为什么要做这种事？”
然而，孩子出生的那一刻，我就爱上了她；要我为她舍命都可以。我以前从没看过这么柔弱、这么漂亮的小孩，两行眼泪流下我的脸颊。一转眼，我又哭了，却是把她留在离家八百里外大学宿舍的那一刻。
再一弹指，去年十二月，我牵着她走过红毯，她的手勾住我的臂弯。走到教堂前面，我亲吻了那只纤细的手，然后放进她未来丈夫的手里。

抓紧相处的时光
跟儿女一起共度时光的机会是很短暂的。有个人带儿子去钓鱼，整天一无所得。他在日记里写下："跟儿子去钓鱼，没有一条鱼上钩。整天都浪费了。"几年 后，他翻寻一只大皮箱，在箱底发现了儿子的日记。他打开日记本，读到儿子对钓鱼那天写下的记录："去钓鱼，整天一无所获。跟爸爸一起过了一整天，是我一生 最棒的一天！"
许多人从结婚那天起，就不再跟自己的妻子约会。要知道，妻子深深渴望一段浪漫的时间：单独跟你吃顿饭；一顿没有电话铃响、没有呼叫器哔哔作响的晚餐，而且她是你全神贯注的焦点。
许多年前，我的妻子得了癌症。有一晚她躺在床上睡着了，我看着她。心想，这女人曾是我多么珍视的宝贝，我却不再以当初约会时的那种专注、热烈和温柔 来待她。于是，我伸手触摸她的唇，抚摸她的眉，心里深深感谢上帝把她赐给了我。在我这么做时，我看见她的眼角流出泪水。我一面问她怎么了，一面将她搂进臂 弯里。她却只说："别停下来，别停下来。"
你希望妻子、儿女、家人知道你爱他们吗？那么，花时间跟他们在一起。

用言语表达爱
我们生活在一个渴求听到"我爱你"的文化里。
有一天我坐在飞机上。我刚得到一个国际奖，虽然领奖时有几千人为我鼓掌喝彩，我却多么希望我的父亲当时也在那里。于是我拿出纸，写了一封信给他。我 写下："爸，我这一生已经有很多成就。"然后我又加上，"爸，你知道，其实我只是要让你觉得骄傲。"我的父亲生长在一个不说"我爱你"的时代里，因为说这 样的话显得没有男子气概。事实上，这是不对的！我并非贬低父亲，我知道是他的成长背景让他相信就该如此。信末我写着："爸，你知道我最引以为傲的奖是什么 吗？就是你是我的爸爸。"最后我写下不曾对他说过的话："我爱你。"
我折好了信，可是不敢寄出去，因为我怕他不会回应；我没把握能否应付那样的心痛。我将信放置两星期才寄出。然后我守在电话机旁，等着电话。最后，我相信那封信没造成什么影响；因为父亲连一通电话也没打。
几个月后，我去看父母。开车时，胃里像有一颗火球在燃烧似的！我气自己这么需要父亲跟我说："我也爱你。"当我走进屋里，母亲用那种有事情要发生时 的特有方式问候我。我进入客厅，看见一个父亲自制的相框，里面裱的正是我几个月前写给他的那封信。母亲说："每个到家里的人，他都带他们到这里，要他们读 这封信。"
我爸爱我！我爸爱我！我抱住他的身体。我说："我爱你，爸！"他说："我也爱你。"对我父亲而言，他儿子白纸黑字写下"我爱你"，具有何等的意义！现在我们常通电话，也这样彼此表白。我们的关系改变了。当你说出"我爱你"时，许多的苦毒都除去了。我们都需要听到这样的话。

用行动表达爱
我生长在认定女人该做家事的时代。我以为上帝将女人摆在世上，是为了确保男人一切都能顺利。我一点也不帮妻子的忙。
她天天辛苦工作，我却从不帮她做任何家事，反而怪她为何对我冷淡、无回应！我们交往期间充满了热情，结婚后，她再也感受不到过去我口中所说的那份爱。我们的婚姻冷却了，火辣的热情消失了。
有一天我坐在屋里，储藏室的门开着，吸尘器放在里面。我看到它摆在那里，心想，我要试用它。我们一定要做过一些家事，才会知道妻子有多辛苦！当要吸 一些必须清理的垃圾时，吸尘器没有多大用处。它能吸起小小的棉线头，附着一段时间，然后在你最想不到的时候掉下来！至于掉在地毯里的牙签，即使吸了一百 遍，地毯都磨坏了，还是吸不起来！最后，我把吸尘器放在房间中间，取下所有管子和吸到的东西；然后再把管子装回去，开始吸地毯。奇妙的是，吸过去，上面就 出现了一种颜色的线条；往相反方向走，又出现不同颜色的线条！我觉得非常有意思，就干脆把整个房间都吸过，给它加上了条纹。然后心想，既然都做了，干脆把 屋子打扫干净吧！于是又从另一边吸过来，把整个屋子的地毯吸成了棋盘状。
太太回到家，惊讶地问道："这是谁弄的？"我抬起头来说："我弄的啊！"她立刻跑过来，跳上我坐的那张椅子。这件事至今仍令我难忘。
造成婚姻里热情消失的原因之一，是我们已经太久不再说"我爱你"，不再表露"我爱你"了。
孩子们也需要父母用触碰来表达爱。小女儿要我一再讲三只小猪的故事；过去我是这样做：讲是会讲，只是过不了多久就开始跳页。但她却不肯跳页。最后， 我干脆把故事录起来，然后教她怎么放录音带。有天晚上我回家，忙着做那些男人会做的事，这时女儿拿着录音机进来了。她说："爸爸，跟我讲三只小猪的故事。 "
我说："宝贝，它就在录音机里啊！"
她却说："但是，爸爸，我没法坐在录音机的腿上！"
儿女渴望接触我们，知道我们关心他们。这就是爱的行动。
你不能空空地去爱，而你的家人等待着被你去爱。现在就立下心志，做你必须做的。

本文节录自《男人的七个承诺》一书，作者肯恩•戴维斯(Ken Davis)是Dynamic Communications机构总裁；著有七本书，包括《Fire Up Your Life》，《How to Live with Your Parents without Losing Your Mind》，以及《Jumper Fables》，后者赢得CBA（美国基督教书商联会）金牌奖；神学院教师和培灵讲员。

How Science is related to God?

"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes, sir."

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."


"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could... in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't."

No answer.

"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?" No answer.

The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er... Yes."

"Is Satan good?"

"No."

"Where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From... God..."

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"

"Yes."

"Who created evil?"

No answer.

"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"Who created them?"

No answer.

The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"

No answer.

The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails.

Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?"

The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"

No answer.

"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers,

"Is God good?"

No answer..

"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."

The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen your Jesus?"

"No, sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir. I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"

No answer.

"Answer me, please."

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"

"No, sir."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"...yes..."

"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"

The student doesn't answer.

"Sit down, please."

The Christian sits...Defeated. Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"

The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."

The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"Is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No, sir, there isn't."

The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold. The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.

"There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence.

A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.

"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"

"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"

"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes..."

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"

Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."

The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"

"Sir, may I explain what I mean?" The class is all ears.

"Explain... oh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.

"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then here's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."

The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"

"Of course there is, now look..."

"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses.

"Isn't evil the absence of good?"

The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless. The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."

The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't vie this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."

"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.

"Professor. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"

"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.

"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"

"I believe in what is - that's science!"

"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face spits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."

"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.

The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"

The professor wisely keeps silent. The Christian looks around the room.

"Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"

The class breaks out in laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain...felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?" No one appears to have done so.

The Christian shakes his head sadly.

"It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says the professor has no brain."

The class is in chaos. The Christian sits...

Because that is what a chair is for.